Manurehouse Gases

The butler has just brought me my neatly pressed copy of The Times.

Whilst perusing, I nearly choked on my kipper.

Once again those chaps from Fleet Street have got a bee in their bonnet and are bleating on and on about their latest tedious concern; the increase in Manurehouse gases. It really is quite a bore.

They rant on and on about how there are far too many carriages on the road and that the horses are producing so much beastly excrement, that the roads are becoming nigh on impassable to those on foot. Supposedly due to both the gentle aroma of manure and the mountains of it piling up on the roads.

I say, balderdash and piffle.

What are people doing walking on roads? Clearly, only the lower classes would do such a thing.

If that is the case, and I am reliably informed by a travelling tinker that it is, why on earth should it be of any concern to the ruling classes? It is not as if it matters whether their clothes get covered in excrement, as I am reliably informed that they do not wash.

Besides, I have just purchased the largest and fastest four wheel drive carriage from Selfish, Guzzler, Twerp & Co, and from my lofty position I am not aware of any manurehouse gases.

So there you have it, dear readers. I am completely oblivious to the existence of manurehouse gases, so they clearly do not exist. You may rest easily in your beds.

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