You are indeed a half wit. My letters of redress are more important to the running of this country than the port-quaffing hours you spend on your aristocratic arse in the Upper Chamber – the Chamber of Bores! You can’t even run your own bath let alone a country. Have no fear, before my departure to New Mexico I spent some time with quill in hand writing letters to several panjandrums and left them for my secretary to post in my absence. I am a man of duty and diligence.
Yours
Dung