The Association Football Tournament

The hoi polloi are becoming rather over excited by an impending tournament in our Cape Colony. Emporiums are being decked with the flag of St George in an attempt to encourage the great unwashed to buy more cider and gruel.

Many of you would suspect that I disapprove of such behaviour. On the contrary, I welcome such patriotism. This event keeps the peasants from hatching revolutionary plans such as getting the vote. It enables my steward to work them harder and put their rents up whilst their minds are diverted elsewhere.

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