Fitz and his new Lady

I am pleased to report that after years of philandering, Fitzberque has finally found himself a Lady to share languid days by the trout stream regaling her with tales of heroism from his days in Africa manning the fort against all odds with his trusty Enfield.

Although he shares with her a passion for talking about the Empire at great length, I do have some reservations about her.

Fitzberque shall be bringing her to our annual soirĂ©e this week. However, in the past, he was always ready to arrive in time for a glug from the claret jug at 4. Now he informs me that he cannot arrive much before 7pm due to his good lady “working.”

How absurd. A Lady working? I have heard it said that the lower classes have to send their women to the cotton mills to make ends meet, but I have never heard of a lady from good society having to soil her hands with labour.

Fitzberque claims she works for charity. That is all well and good, but if she is donating her time to the great unwashed, surely time spent in the company of Great Men takes precedence?

This leads me to the unfortunate conclusion that this Lady must hail from the middle classes, or, god forbid, the labouring classes.

If this be the case, I urge Fitzberque to hurry her along to elocution lessons and urge her to learn the finer points of etiquette before he takes her to the Regimental Mess to avoid embarrassing silences at the top table.

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