Lord William Daft

Good day. It’s been a while but I have a sojourn to Canon Coch’s spare home in Devon this weekend where I fancy feats of liquid excess shall be performed and the world should be prepared.

To this end, I will take this opportune moment to introduce you to a fellow who is attending the weekend. He is of insignificant birth and a misty past, and goes by the name of Sir Benjamin Lagertin.

He is an uncouth sort of chap. He appeared at The Club one summers day a few years back. He procured a glass of a urine like drink called ‘lager’ and proceeded to sit, uninvited at our table where the Canon and I were talking of great affairs of state.

His initial contribution was to belch. Managing a sentence of more than four words without some wind escaping him seemed beyond his talents. He could barely meet our eye for he was following the comely shapes of the serving wenches a tad too intently.

He told us of his past. That he had spent some years in Arabia selling sand to the natives. He was eventually hounded out for not standing his round.

He returned home to Blighty and decided to begin a commercial venture advising tradesmen how to save money on coal. Here is where he proved himself to be a smart fellow and one worthy of a passing acquaintance. He decided to sell only to taverns thereby combining his passion for drink with ‘work.’

I suspect you will hear more tales of this fellow…..